“People Should Never Act This Way!”

As a learning specialist and someone who is also neurodivergent, I've come to realize the importance of distinguishing between asking for accommodations and asking others to change their behavior. While it might be easy to confuse the two, they are fundamentally different concepts.

The Evolution of Our Understanding of Neurodiversity

Historically, society had a limited understanding of what it meant to be neurodivergent. Conditions like ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and dyspraxia were often misunderstood and mislabeled as defects or abnormalities. People with these conditions were frequently judged unfairly—those with dyslexia, for instance, might have been labeled as lazy, while those with ADHD were often punished for their perceived lack of focus.

Today, we understand that while every brain is unique, some brains develop and function in ways that differ from what is considered typical. In medical and health sciences, establishing norms is essential for diagnosis and treatment, but this focus on the "normal" has sometimes led us to overlook or stigmatize those who don't fit within these parameters. The concept of neurodiversity has helped shift the narrative, emphasizing that different doesn't mean defective—it's just different, and that's okay.

Navigating Neurodiversity in Society

With our growing awareness of neurodiversity, the conversation has turned to how society can support neurodivergent individuals. Whether in schools, workplaces, or communities, accommodations are essential to ensure that neurodivergent people have the support they need to thrive.

Many schools are now more inclusive, with curricula that consider different learning styles. This progress is crucial, but there's still work to be done. While neurodivergent individuals today face many of the same challenges they always have, increased awareness has led to better support structures. However, it has also sparked debates about the extent and nature of these accommodations.

The Limits of Accommodation

While inclusivity is vital, there must be a balance between accommodating neurodivergent and neurotypical individuals. For example, if neurodivergent people were to demand accommodations to the point where they faced no challenges in their work, it could hinder their ability to function independently in the broader world. Such demands, though hypothetical, highlight the importance of reasonable accommodations.

Official accommodations might include adjustments to learning methods, medical support, or tools like headphones and fidgets for self-regulation. However, on social media, there’s a trend where accommodations are sometimes interpreted as requests for others to change their behavior—like avoiding sarcasm or speaking in a certain way. While these behaviors might be challenging for some neurodivergent individuals, it's essential to consider whether it's reasonable to ask others to alter their self-expression.

Balancing Expectations

The core idea of neurodiversity is acceptance of differences. If neurodivergent individuals were to demand that others act a certain way, it could contradict the very principle of accepting differences. Just as we wouldn't ask neurodivergent people to change their behavior to make neurotypical individuals more comfortable, we shouldn't expect neurotypicals to change unproblematic behavior simply because it doesn't align with neurodivergent preferences.

There's a crucial difference between advocating for necessary accommodations to ensure accessibility and asking others to change habits that, while perhaps bothersome, aren't inherently problematic.

Practical Tips for Navigating Differences

For neurodivergent individuals, it's important to recognize that everyone is different, and no one’s differences are superior to another’s. This brings us to the first tip:

1. Accept others as they are.
Acceptance leads to relief and progress. When we accept what we cannot change, we can find ways to coexist, leading to mutual growth.

I hope these insights are helpful as we continue to navigate the complexities of neurodiversity in our society.