First published here.

It takes equal amount of hard work by both partners in a relationship to make it work.

 

At the core of this hard work are three things; quality time, effective communication and empathy.

 

There are more but these three pillars of a good relationship are easily eroded by actions and inactions of stressed out partners.

 

What are the triggers of high levels of stress?

 

Partners may be easily stressed out by financial challenges, work-related pressure, health complications and anxiety about meeting family and social expectations.

 

Stressed out partners allow this emotional distortion to affect their relationship in negative ways, some of which include;

 

 

1. A stressed out partner finds it extremely difficult to give their partner a satisfactory quality time. 

 

Absence of quality time causes communication breakdown between partners. 

 

The collapse of effective communication puts a wedge between them and makes it very difficult for them to communicate their feelings to each other.

 

2. Stress puts a victim on edge and causes them to snap  and react aggressively to their lover’s irritating but harmless question.

 

This is a fallout of a prolonged period of absence of healthy communication between partners. 

 

A prolonged period of lack of productive communication denies partners the opportunity to share problems and get necessary support early.

 

3. Partners experiencing high stress levels tend to have little time for intimacy:

 

When one or both partners experience high levels of stress they tend to lose the urge for intimacy.

 

The urge for intimacy is taken over by the constant overwhelming feeling of anxiety about an intractable problem. 

 

When the urge for intimacy is not mutual, the partner with the unfilled need feels rejected and unloved.

 

4. Partners with high levels of stress tend to feel less empathy for each other.

 

Stressed out partners have problems with having an effective communication, the feeling an urge for intimacy and the need to turn towards each other.

 

These problems weaken the need to walk in the shows of each other and give strong emotional support when it really matters.

 

Where does the withholding of show of empathy lead to? 

 

It could cause the partner in need of empathy to doubt that their partner really loves them.

 

5. Stressed out couples are susceptible to anxiety attacks.

 

It is not unusual for a stressed out partner to withdraw into their shell, give no chance to their lover to offer support and try to solve their problem alone.

 

The forsaking of the need to seek support could stir up a feeling of loneliness, which could degenerate into anxiety attacks and depression.  

 

The good news is, there are simple ways to handle stress in a relationship.

 

How can stress in a relationship be handled?

 

1. Restore and sustain effective communication.

 

The first place to begin is to restore and sustain effective communication.

 

When effective communication channels are up and running, partners give themselves a golden opportunity to share their problems, share sound pieces of advice, find solutions together and keep stress out of the relationship.

 

 

2. Draw and observe boundaries.

 

It is necessary to set boundaries and observe them. 

 

Conscious and concerted efforts should be made by partners to know where each partner’s boundary begins and ends.

 

And these boundaries should be respected by every partner who desires a stress free relationship.

 

3. Maintain a healthy work-life balance:

 

This is extremely important. Work and work-related pressure should be left in the office and not brought home.

 

Again, a conscious effort should be made to have a work-life balance so as to give each partner a big chance to enjoy a stress free relationship.

 

4. Learn to be altruistic when it really matters.

 

A ‘me-time’ shouldn’t be cast in stone. 

 

A pressing need for your attention and time may arise that would expect you to deny yourself the need to be alone and create time for the one you truly love. 

 

Acts of altruism are a demonstration of genuine love that everyone craves for and enjoys. 

 

They strengthen the bond of togetherness, bring warm into a relationship and make it stress free. 

 

5. Show genuine physical affection.

 

When you really want to keep stress out of your relationship, you have to make the showing of genuine physical affection its constant component.

 

Be physically close to your partner as much as you can. This is a proof that you feel drawn to them. 

 

It makes your partner feel appreciated and it also boosts their self confidence to share their problems with you, which goes a long way to helps eliminate stress from the relationship.

 

6. Demonstrate  belief in the relationship.

 

The best place to run to for help when you face triggers of high levels of stress is your relationship.

 

Creating the time to talk about your challenges, listening actively to what your partner shares and applying the solution together clearly demonstrate your firm belief in the relationship.

 

This naturally encourages your partner to do the same when they face potentially stressful situations.

 

When this template is adopted by you and your partner, both of you have a relationship that is weighed down by stress.

 

In conclusion, above all, you to have to acknowledge that seeking expert guidance is always the best way to keep stress out of your relationship.