What to do When Your Student FAILS

This guide is dedicated to school teachers, private tutors, learning specialists, and, of course, homeschooling parents.

Schoolwork can be challenging, and kids respond to difficulties in various ways. Some children may withdraw, refusing to engage with schoolwork after experiencing failure. Others may become anxious, high-strung, or restless when faced with new assignments. These emotions can escalate, leading to intense reactions when a student fails a test or assignment.

So, how do you manage these situations effectively?

Understanding What’s Really Happening When a Student Fails

Whether at school or home, kids attach different meanings to their performance, which influences their reactions. While managing their response is important, the primary focus should be on preventing a student from internalizing their failure.

When a student fails a test or assignment, they’re likely upset with themselves. Depending on their personality, they may either internalize these feelings or lash out at others. However, the core issue is their disappointment in not meeting their expectations.

This is why it's crucial not to focus solely on their reaction. Their emotions might be misleading if considered in isolation.

It Should Not Stop There…

As an adult, you understand that success often comes after setbacks and that your worth isn’t determined by failures. Children, however, are still learning this lesson. They need guidance to reassess their work and bounce back from setbacks, whether it's a failed test or a disappointing homework grade.

Helping the Student Reframe Their Reaction

One of the most effective strategies is to help students reframe their reactions to failure. Here’s how you can approach this:

1. Separate the Work from the Reaction: The first step is to distinguish the schoolwork from the student’s emotional response. When a student is upset, they’re less likely to focus on what caused the distress—in this case, the incorrect answers or poor grades. Once these two aspects are separated, it becomes easier to reframe their feelings.

2. Calm the Student Before Revisiting the Work: Start by calming the student down. This might involve changing the subject or engaging them in a different activity to take their mind off the failure. The goal is to reduce the intensity of their emotional reaction before revisiting the schoolwork.

3. Reframe the Failure: When you bring the student back to the assignment, they’ll be in a better state of mind to reassess their work. The key is to help them understand that the wrong answer doesn’t define them—they’re not a failure just because they failed a test. This distinction is crucial for building resilience.

4. Review and Correct Together: Work through the incorrect answers with the student. This collaborative process helps them see that mistakes are an opportunity to learn and improve. They’ll begin to realize that while they may have failed a test, they haven’t failed as a person.

By applying this strategy consistently, you might find that your student starts to handle setbacks with less anxiety and more confidence. Over time, they’ll be better equipped to correct their errors and learn from their experiences.

I hope this helps!